I Feel Like Im Taking Crazy Pills!!!

Well, for the umpteenth weekend in a row my parents did not go to church! And you wonder "why is she angry? is she worried her parents are falling away?" NO! Im angry b/c the only time that I get to spend ALONE is when they are gone to church. And they arent going! UGH! I used to skip church on Sunday mornings just so I could be alone, now I cant even do that! (how terrible am I? I know) I desperately need to move out, but I dont know if that will ever be possible. I need to get out so I can have my own space to work in etc, but I cant leave. I was going to move out at the beginning of the summer - then I changed it to the end of the summer b/c I was going to be gone for the month of July, but now I dont know if that will happen b/c my brother cant make up his mind as to what he is going to do (when he wants to visit - the whole point of me going up and staying so long was to spend time with his family and see my friends but now he might visit Texas during that time - meanwhile I still have to go up north b/c I have two weddings to attend). Now Im not even sure about the end of the summer b/c my dad might lose his job and my mom thinks I will need to help them pay the house payments. Well there is no way I can do that AND apartment payments. His job is so up in the air I dont want to wait around seeing what will happen b/c it will take forever. He will definitly be unemployed as of September, but will still be paid for a short time. (aka - I might be living here until Oct/Nov before I find out if they need me or not) and I HAVE to have a new place before school starts or Im gonna go crazy! With doing student council next year, Im gonna have so much on my plate, I will need a place to actually sit down and work. Right now I know my mom is just trying to be sympathetic so she has allowed me to spread my stuff out everywhere, but I can tell that she is beginning to get tired of it ... which would be ok b/c I could clean it, but I clean best when Im alone (w/o someone hovering over my shoulder telling me what to do) but Im never ALONE! ITs a vicious cycle people....extremely vicious. Im so dramatic.

stillness...

stillness can be both good and bad
good: sitting quietly, reflecting on God and life, listening to Him, relaxing...all good things
bad: putrid air, fetid heat, no airconditioning, traffic...all bad things

thoughts to ponder. Thankfully I HAVE airconditioning, Im NOT going to work (so no traffic and TONS of relaxation) and I now actually have loads of time to be quiet and reflect and listen. YEA! woo-woo

so whats new with me? (other than the fact that I cant decide wheter or not i should capitalize my words) school's out! i spent all last week moving my room upstairs since i am taking the old stu co sponsor's place...that was a ton of work but i had help (thanks nic). i've been super tired...not really sure why. but i have been getting to bed at odd times and waking up at odd times, so now its time for me to develope a regular schedule.

i have a lot of things i want to accomplish this summer. i need to read: for school, for fun, for church...which is gonna be awesome! i love it when i have excuses to read! i have also decided that every saturday i will read one of the chronicles of narnia books...yea for cs lewis! im so excited about the new movie coming out - but nervous also, kinda like i was before lord of the rings...im just worried they will screw it up. but peter jackson did an excellent job (i started watching the trilogy again today-fav movies of all times...even over star wars *cringe* i know - its like blasphemy!)

i need to plan for next year - write lesson plans that is. this past year i lived day-to-day and that was way too stressful, esp. due to grading, so i dont want that to happen again. and since i actually know what im teaching ahead of time...i have a better idea of what to plan. except for english iv b/c i havent taught that before (ap this is...i taught regulars last year)

i have the ap conference to go to at the end of this month...speaking of - one of my coworkers who is going to that with me left today to bury his father in kentucky...we went to the memorial service last night - it was sad...its been a while for me...like 4 years or so since i had attended a funeral...pray for him! and i have some classes on the 1st and 2nd of august to attend to for my GT training. for stu co i am meeting with the kids on the 13th and we are picking out next year's homecoming theme (im crazy - i know - i cant believe i signed up to do this) and then fish camp is august 4th. yes, i have already received parent phone calls...crazy.

then i also want to finish up my scrapbooks for costa rica, prague, and alaska...i can do it! (thats my motivational speaker trying to get out) if i just sit down and get started, it really shouldnt take too long - the key is to budget my time between all of these things. speaking of - i need to get started! lata

p.s. yeah - and i planned on working out too so i could get hot before clark and erin's wedding...but i just dont see how that is gonna happen! agh! discouragement! where are you little motivational speaker?!